(with apologies to Dr. Seuss)
Every BSOBer in Melbourne liked bonsai a lot.
But the Grinch, who lived just north of Melbourne, did NOT!
The Grinch hated bonsai! The whole bonsai season!
Now, please don’t ask why. No one quite knows the reason.
It could be that his ficus never grew right.
It could be, perhaps, that his clippers were too tight.
But I think that the most likely reason of all
May have been that his Tokonome pots were two sizes too small.
But, whatever the reason, His trees or his pots,
He stood there on holiday party eve, hating the lot,
Staring from his cave with a Grinchy frown,
At the neatly trimmed pads that grew near the ground.
For he knew every BSOBer in Melbourne today
Was busy now, trimming a cute little mame.
“And they’re wiring their branches!” he snarled with a sneer.
“It’s lost all its leaves! It’s practically bare!”
Then he growled, with his grinch fingers nervously drumming,
“I MUST find a way to keep the party from coming!”
For, tomorrow, he knew…
All the BSOB wardens
Would wake up bright and early. They’d rush for their gardens!
And then! Start pruning trees! Oh, the trees! the Trees! Trees! Trees!
That’s one thing he hated! The TREES! TREES! TREES! TREES!
Then the BSOBers, young and old, would sit down at a workshop.
And they’d cut! And they’d snip!
And they’d clip, clip, CLIP, CLIP! CLIP!
They would start on pine, and rare buttonwood
Which was something Grinch couldn’t find in his neighborhood!
Then he got an idea!
An awful idea!
THE GRINCH
GOT A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA!
“I know just what to do!” The Grinch laughed in his throat.
And he made a bonsai master hat and a coat.
And he chuckled, and clucked, “What a great Grinchy disaster!
“With this coat and this hat, I’ll look just like a Japanese master!”
“I must collect a cypress…” the Grinch said in a snit.
But bonsai are scarce, and you need a permit.
Did that stop the old Grinch…?
NO! The Grinch simply said,
“If I can’t find a bonsai, I’ll make one instead!”
So he dug up a hedge. Then he took some copper wire
And he wired a side shoot to make it grow higher.
THEN He loaded some bags with some moldy old soil
On a ramshackle truck, and he filled it with oil.
Then the Grinch said, “Hiedi-ho”
And the truck started down
Toward the homes where the BSOBers
Lay a-snooze in their town.
All their windows were dark. Quiet filled the air.
All the BSOBers were all dreaming trees so fair
When he came to the first house in the square.
“This is stop number one,” the Grinchy Master hissed
And he snuck in the garden, empty bags in his fist.
Then he emptied one bench. A rather tidy pinch.
He cleaned out the greenhouse, what a nasty Grinch.
Where the little shohin were all arrayed in a row.
“These Shohin,” he grinned, “have got to go!”
He got stuck only once, for a moment or two.
When the branches snagged on a his smartly styled do.
And the Grinch grabbed another tree, and he started to shove
When he heard a small sound like the coo of a dove.
He turned around fast, and he saw a small BSOBer!
Little Jenny-Boo-Boo, who was not more than two.
The Grinch had been caught by this little BSOB daughter
Who’d got out of bed for a cup of cold water.
She stared at the Grinch and said, “Mr. Grinch,
“Why are you taking our nice bonsai tree? WHY?”
But, you know, that old Grinch was so smart and so slick
He thought up a lie, and he thought it up quick!
“Why, my sweet little tot,” the fake master lied,
“There’s a bug on this tree that just won’t die.
“So I’m taking it home to my workshop, my dear.
“I’ll spray it up there. Then I’ll bring it back here.”
And his fib fooled the child. Then he patted her head
And he got her a drink and he sent her to bed.
And when Jenny-Boo-Boo went to bed with her cup,
He went to the garden and cut a tree up!
Then the last thing he took was a reel of cooper wire.
Then he went down the driveway, the old liar.
On their benches he left nothing but mold, and small pieces of briar.
And the one little tree he left in the greenhouse
Was a measly little cutting even too small for a mouse.
Then He did the same thing to the other BSOB houses
Leaving cuttings much too small for the other BSOBer’s mouses!
Three miles up the highway! Up the side of Indian River,
He rode to the city dump to empty his quiver!
“Pooh-pooh to the BSOBers!” he was grinch-ish-ly humming.
“They’re finding out now that no party is coming!
“They’re just waking up! I know just what they’ll do!
“Their mouths will hang open a minute or two
“The all the BSOBers down in Melbourne will all cry BOO-HOO!”
“That’s a noise,” grinned the Grinch,
“That I simply must hear!”
So he paused. And the Grinch put a hand to his ear.
And he did hear a sound rising over the lawn.
It started in low. Then it started to spawn…
But the sound wasn’t sad!
Why, this sound sounded merry!
It couldn’t be so!
But it WAS merry! VERY!
He stared back toward Melbourne!
The Grinch popped his eyes!
Then he shook!
What he saw was a shocking surprise!
Every BSOBer in Melbourne, the tall and the small,
Were trimming and grinning! Without any trees at all!
He HADN’T stopped the holiday party from coming!
IT CAME!
Somehow or other, it came just the same!
And the Grinch, with his grinch-feet wiggling to and fro,
Stood puzzling and puzzling: “How could it be so?
It came without trees! It came without pots!
“It came without stands, mudmen or whats !”
And he puzzled three hours, `till his puzzler was sore.
Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn’t before!
“Maybe bonsai,” he thought, “doesn’t come from a store.
“Maybe bonsai…perhaps…means a little bit more!”
And what happened then…?
Well…in Melbourne they say
That the Grinch’s small pots
Grew three sizes that day!
And the minute his heart didn’t feel quite so tight,
He whizzed with his load through the bright morning light
And he brought back the trees! And the tools for the show!
And he…
..HE HIMSELF…!
The Grinch, jinned a branch, real slow!
Merry Christmas all!